Books That Bugged Me

This post contains major spoilers concerning the books that I have listed below.

These are personal ruminations. That is, this is not a post about the books that are most likely to disturb or to bother the general reader. Instead, this is a very short list of novels that bugged me. If I were attempting to compile a catalog of books that are likely to disquiet the most people, this post would be very different. If I were constructing a list of works that should be universally disturbing, then I would look for common elements that should, in theory, trouble us all. Instead these are just a few novels that, due to idiosyncrasies in my own psyche, bothered the heck out of me. These works pushed certain buttons in my mind. They may or may not do so for others. 

Thus, this list seems little “wrong”. I think that this little compilation looks a bit like a list created by someone who is not well read at all. It seems to be an odd and too – short combination of books. A list that contains glaring omissions.  A list put together by someone who has missed some of the really powerful and moving works out there (Many of which I have, of course missed). There are many novels that I have read, that in theory should be much more affecting then those below. As I stated above, this is a list based upon my personal reactions only. I choose these books solely based upon gut reactions that I had to them. Though I may attempt to use reason to analyze and explain why these novels seemed so dark to me, reason and analysis have nothing to do with the choices.

When examining the list I notice some interesting commonalities: Three out of the four works are either science fiction or at least take place in a speculative and very dark future. Three out of the four involve the disruptions of a relationship, at least in part due to an invasion by outside forces. All four of these works were written in the twentieth century and were written in English. For me at least, all of the major events in these books, though at times highly speculative, seemed plausible.

The whole idea of this list seems a little absurd when I really think about it. After all, I have read a fair share of non - fiction that has illustrated some of the most horrendous aspects of the human experience. As someone who has read a lot of history, and a lot of dark history, I have encountered real life stories of murder, rape, and the most unspeakable tortures and sadism that can be imagined, on both an individual as well as on a mass scale. What is contained in these non – fiction works was indeed troubling. Some of it is the stuff of nightmare and depict hell on Earth. Thus, I have had similar reactions these books. However, since such things really happened, such reactions seem to be more understandable.

So why should anything of the non - fiction sort bother me much? Perhaps because by introducing the reader into the mind and the soul a character the way non - fiction does not, fiction sometimes creates a special kind of empathy for characters. Another reason may be the fact that three out of the four books are speculative fiction. Maybe this gave the authors a particular amount of freedom to set up situations that were so uncanny as to create the sense that something was abnormally twisted in the Universe.

I have heard it expressed that really great books have the power to bother people the most. Once again my list does not exactly meet expectations. Some of the below really are not novels that belong in the category of great literature. With that said, in my opinion, all of the below are very well written.

These books bugged me so much that I will never reread them and would stay away from other books that I think might elicit similar reactions. These novels chilled my soul. I thought about them for days after completing. Later, sometimes years later, thinking about them brings up unpleasant feelings. I am not delving too deeply into why these particular works perturbed me so much. However, I am willing to discuss further and in detail, in the comments section or through private correspondence with anyone who wants elaboration and is interested in further chat.

The list of books that bugged is as follows:

Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo



I first read this when I was very young. The famous story of Joe Bonham who is wounded by an artillery shell in World War I and wakes up with no arms, no legs, no mouth, no sight, no hearing, no smell and no taste. The book takes place almost entirely in the protagonist’s mind. Bonham cannot move, communicate or even kill himself. In the annals of literature, perhaps no other work has ever portrayed a soul trapped in such torment with absolutely no way to escape. This is a dark masterpiece of helpless horror and is truly the stuff of the darkest nightmares.

An argument can be made that this book rises to the level of great literature.

Rock band Metallica’s song “One” is about this book.

Implosion by D.F. Jones

This is most obscure work on this list. While not great literature, it is a very imaginative tale of worldwide horror. Rival nations develop a chemical that can be easily introduced into water supplies and that is extremely effective in causing sterility in women. Various nations and rival factions use the toxin against one another in vicious cycles of attack and retaliation. In a few short years, ninety – nine percent of the World’s women are unable to bear children.

The true horror builds in the novel’s last chapters. The few remaining fertile women are sequestered into institutions and forced to become baby - making machines.  Julia, the wife of the United Kingdom’s Prime Minister is one of these unfortunate women. Piling grim horror upon grim horror, her relatives, though initially helpful in attempted escape attempts, and visiting her in the institution, eventually slowly betray her in what seems to me, a particularly cruel way. Her husband and twin sister, gradually over the years, visit her less and less frequently. Eventually it is revealed that the two have married. By this time Julia is so resigned to her fate that she is only bothered a little bit. No happy endings in this novel.  I have not read since I was much younger and will not do so again.

The White Plague by Frank Herbert

This novel heaps three levels of agonizing horror one on top of another. First, a microbiologist’s wife and two young daughters are killed in a horrendous terrorist bombing. Second, the microbiologist, later know as “the madman”, goes completely insane and plots retribution upon the world. His revenge is a devastatingly effective synthesized virus that kills only women. Over the course of the book the plague spreads throughout the world and over ninety – nine percent of the Earth’s women succumb. When a cure is finally found the few women survivors emerge from quarantine. In the closing pages of the book a final horror becomes apparent as everyone is expected to accept, based upon the new realities, that monogamous relationships for the remaining women, even pre - existing ones, will not be tolerated in this new world.

I have read a lot of “plague wiping out humanity books.” None has affected me like this one. It is so very different from the others. It is stark and believable. In an odd way, the fact that the contagion affects only one gender makes it all the more grim.

I would argue that Herbert wrote great literature when he created his Dune Series. This book, very different from Herbert’s more famous works, does not quite reach the level of greatness, but is very well written and effective. I have known several others who have read this book and were not so bothered. Thus, this one falls firmly into the category of “personally disturbing.”

I remember reading this when I was in my teens around the time that it was first published. I recognized the horror of it all this but thought that if it happened, I would be lucky to be male. In retrospect, I think that death would be preferable to living in a world that lost all of its women in such a terrible way. 

Nineteen Eighty  - Four by George Orwell

For me, this is the ultimate disturbing novel. It contains a unique set of horrors as the protagonists, Winston and Julia, endure mental, emotional and moral destruction at the hands of torturers in the service of the most oppressive regime imaginable. Their fate is clearly worse then death. There are two famous passages, one known as the Room 101 passage and the second that cumulates in last sentence of the book that hammer the horrors home. For me the worst passage was actually a third one, I call it the “Cold March Day,” where the protagonists are shown to be emotionally annihilated, their love for one another intentionally and effectively destroyed by the pernicious regime. I blogged about this one in more detail here.

Finally, there are a couple of books that I have not read, that I suspect, might elicit similar disturbing reactions for me, and thus, I will likely stay away from. One is The Road by Cormac McCarthy, which looks so very terrifying, grim and depressing in an ultimate and plausible way (I have not seen the film for the same reason). The second is Blindness by Jose Saramago. I have seen the film adaptation of that book. The movie contained a rape scene that I found to be unbearable. I have heard that the corresponding passage in the book is even more intense. As I like both McCarthy and Saramago and the plots of these books seem interesting, I would have read both in a heartbeat when I was younger. I am, however, getting squeamish in my old age.